North Dakota.

I’ve never met anyone from you. I’ve never met a soul who lives in you either. I never even hear your name! I have lastima for you, North Dakota, because you’re just so…so…nothing. Bleh. Not particularly known for anything amazing or anything awful either. It’s like the USA had 49 states and the Founding Fathers were like, “let’s just round up to 50, it’s a nice number.” And then someone else was like, “Grrr! Foiled! There’s no one else!” And then the Fathers were all, “Ehh, there’s North Dakota. That’s fine.” Not good or bad. Just - fine.

Sometimes I don’t think you’re real. I think you’re a square of land with your name on a post that juts out of some flat earth, like that’s your “for sale” sign. And if you are for sale, you have a really bad realtor.

And then there’s your boastful twin brother, South Dakota - and I’m not saying he’s super popular, but he does have Mount Rushmore. And he’s 16th in size (you’re 19th, you’re behind.) And he’s the worst state for animals, which is obviously not good, but it’s something. Oh, and Tom Brokaw went to college in your Southie bro!

You do have the movie Fargo, ND, I’ll give you that. But when I looked you up, the first thing I saw is that milk is your official state beverage. And I’m crying too hard to read any further. 

p.s. On Orbitz now…hit me up if you want to vacay in North Dakota with me.