I see you peeking from the back corner of my cupboard, and it pangs my heart because you’re so eager for me to pick you, Turmeric. Although you’re known to be good for the liver, digestion, and arthritis, I hardly ever seek you out! I apologize.
The truth is I feel sorry for you, big T. You’re in a short, fat bottle and all the other spices tower over you. Salt and Pepper never even give you a chance. Chili Flakes are more in style. And Rosemary is a total dick. Last week I bought a Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute and I forgot about you for a whole week!
You’re just trying too hard, so sticky and yellow like the sun, and I know you wish you were that big and bright and necessary. But how often do I make curry anyway? Today I promise to sprinkle you over my veggies in a pan so you can feel important and I can go on with my day, despite my jaundiced-looking hands.